Asking for a Friend with Chion Wolf
Asking for a Friend is an advice show examining relationships, decision-making, guilt, defiance, justice, secrets, and joy.
4 months ago

Should We Elope?

Chapel or City Hall? Back yard or bust? Why?

Should We Elope?

My girlfriend of 5 years and I know we want to get married, but we don’t know whether we should go for the big wedding we’ve always imagined, or elope. It seems like each choice has huge advantages and disadvantages, and we feel stuck! Some of the appealing things about planning a wedding are having all of our friends and family there, and fulfilling the vision we both have of a full day of celebration! We’ll be surrounded by love and dancing and singing and speeches and also, our wedding registry would be amazing. But damn, it’s a lot of money. We both have family who would have to fly in from very far distances, and that’s expensive for them. And even though picking out centerpieces and first dance songs and cake is fun, the amount of decisions we’d have to make is stressful AF! The cool thing about eloping is we can keep things simple - which is how we like to live our lives together - and just get on with things. Stress would be low, and we can think of a thousand other ways to spend the money we would have spent on the wedding. But when we picture telling our friends and most - if not all - family members that we eloped, my heart sinks to leave them out. And kiss the wedding registry goodbye. We both grew up picturing that big, special party, surrounded by loved ones, speeches, dancing, and debauchery. We may always wonder about the party that we never had. So, what do we do? Elope or plan the big party? Email your thoughts to, or leave a message at 860 322 2019!

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